From Samui, with Love
A little over four years ago I landed on the little island of Koh Samui, lured by a Tinder date I had set up. I was flying back to Phuket and had an overnight in Samui, so my date and I met up at Fisherman's Village and spent a non-exciting evening together. She was nice but honestly I don't think either of us were feeling it. At the end of the evening I gave her a peck on the cheek, said goodbye and moved on.
But I guess a seed was planted. We slowly started keeping in touch and eventually she came to see me in Phuket. It grew from there.
Since she lived in Samui. I decided to go back and check it out. Maybe there was something there.
That was four years ago. Samui has been my home ever since. And Phatzy has been my girlfriend.
Samui is a smallish island nestled in the Gulf of Thailand. It attracts a lot of tourists. For Thailand, it's expensive. As a westerner it's still cheap. People come here to chill. Go to the beaches. Winter is a great time to be here, except everyone knows that, so it's packed. Even White Lotus was impressed.
When I first arrived I rented covid-discounted Airbnbs. I found some lovely places with many bedrooms and even private pools for pennies. Phatzy had her own cute little bungalow that she lived in. I would visit from time to time but I mostly wanted my own place with lots of room. So she would stay at my villas — though she often scuttled home to do her thing.
On my rented scooter I started exploring the island. It’s small, funky and manageable. Many beaches, some good, some just ok. But people were nice. Southern Thai cuisine is great. (hot, spicy, with tons of fresh seafood). Just being here made me smile.
I really wasn't looking for much so the pace fit me well. I found myself a Muay Thai gym. The owner and I became friends and I still practice there three times a week. Last year I discovered Pickelball and now throw in two or three games at the ONLY pickleball court on the island.
Over the years I've settled into my rhythm of exercise and relaxation. Not a bad life. In fact it's been great and I feel grateful for finding and living in this special place.
Samui is all about letting go. Living a simple life. Appreciating living with less. Perfect for me.
Even though I was "living" in Thailand, I still maintained my travels. Usually spending a few months in the spring and a few months in the fall, visiting new countries as well as dropping in to see my girls and friends in the US.
But I was always happy to come back to my island home.
Me and the boys.
Phatzy eventually talked me into moving into her little bungalow with her. I said I’d try. But on one condition, we had to fix it up.
Her house is nestled in a little compound amongst eight other bungalows, with plenty of plants around to keep it green. From the outside it had a homey vibe. The inside needed some upgrades and that became my project. Soon it became my home too.
One of my favorite things is sitting out on the front porch, listening to the birds and just watching the days go by.
So a perfect life right? Not exactly.
As I spent more and more time in Thailand, I started thinking about what I really wanted in a home — was Samui my forever place, I asked myself?
Never one to stay still that long, I started exploring other parts of the country. Phuket, Krabi, Hua Hin, Bangkok… and Chiang Mai. Thailand is a fairly large country, and there's a lot of varied places to see, each with its own unique characteristics.
Chiang Mai in particular, intrigued me. It’s a fascinating city nestled in the northwest. Surrounded by small hills, it’s culturally rich, dotted with many exotic temples. There was something magical about the place. It's the second largest city in Thailand. But honestly, not too big. It stuck with me. Around Christmas time, when the temperature cools, you often need a sweater at night. A pleasant rarity in Thailand. Though to balance that, every spring is a nightmare of bad air from the agricultural burning in the north.
There's also a strong coffee scene and night markets everywhere and seriously decent bars where you can get a proper cocktail. The music scene is impressive, with jazz and blues clubs and incredible local talent. In my few visits, I made some friends — good people.
Two winters ago Phatzy and I spent six weeks there. Then last winter — two and a half months. I was sorry to leave.
When I returned to Samui this last January, I was curious how it would feel. Though sitting at one of my favorite restaurants on the water, watching the sunset, I was like, "I love it here." I'm happy to be back.
But then, here I was, back amidst the tourists, the bad roads, the lack of anything interesting and I had to admit to myself: Samui is small and maybe I've outgrown it. Was it time to move? Time for Chiang Mai? I wanted a home, a place I could invest my time and energy into — for the long run. I knew in my heart it wasn't here.
Leaving a place where I've been four years with my girlfriend is not as easy as packing my bags and leaving. There was a lot to think about. So I waited.
But a few months ago I was tossing and turning in my sleep and suddenly woke up and the thought hit me: It's time. Time to move. It’s time to spread my wings. A rush of energy filled me.
But what about Phatzy? Samui has been her home for almost ten years. Her son lives next door. She has friends here. She also has her sweet little bungalow that costs next to nothing. I figured she wouldn't want to move. And I know I had to.
It was time to talk.
The problem was that I was in Australia visiting my girls and she was up north in her hometown taking care of her mother.
We ended up on a video call. Not the best, I know. Is there any way to make a call like this easy? I don't think so.
She didn't take it well.
A few weeks later, we were finally sitting face to face. I was nervous and didn't know what to expect.
She surprised me by telling me that she was also tired of Samui and loved Chiang Mai also. She was ready to move.
I had to let that sink in.
So I'm packing up my bags, throwing them in my car and in a few days I will be driving to Chiang Mai — without her. As soon as I arrive I go condo hunting. This time I want to find a very nice place — maybe two bedrooms, a big kitchen, a balcony. It's time to splurge.
Phatzy will then fly up to join me. We've decided to keep her place in Samui, just in case.
We're both nervous and we're both excited — there is so much to be excited about. New adventures. New opportunities. A chance to spread our wings.
So as I drive away and see Samui in my rear view mirror, it is with a tinge of sadness that I say goodbye.
And thank you for everything.
